omg... it just had to get worse lots worse i'm just gonna throw myself off a building if not for my rationality sigh... -why- has been playing on repeat for today i'm too emo for my own good in some no worse no better emo zone i nid to get out of it fast but i just cant i'm still holding on why do u hate me so much? whut did i eva do to anyone? to you? WHYYYYY OMG soo many questions i nid to ask u're there, but u're not there can we just start anew? i'm losing myself looks like i nid to find myself again yes again once again like i did before
11:29 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
one whole day of emo-ing... ): like seriously whole day it wasnt healthy i was just drifting off spacing out just... thinking should i? let go? like yahh let go?
it felt like some battle between my heart and brain zomg... >_< heart: NO DUN LET GO!! brain: lets be rational now... heart: TO HELL WITH THINKING!! GIVE UP FOR WHUT!! brain: don't u feel the pain? heart: PA...pain...? brain: yes the pain... that you have recently been feeling a lot heart: but i CAN TAKE IT >_< brain: sure? heart: DAMN SURE brain: then why emo? why the blog posts? heart: THEY... brain: see? is it worth it? heart: of course!! wth i'm sure not worth it brain: sure? what have you got in return for holding on? heart: ... -DINGDINGDING- ROUND 1 DRAW yahh and more to go... but my brain feels like its winning should i let it go? haha not like you care anw right? u dun even care please u dun even want to talk to me rather talk to ur other frens eh? who knows whut u think of me? some loser? idk idk idk... other ppl have so much better criteria than me i'm just gonna give up soon its working kay? you happy nao?
"and the award for the best liar goes to you..." "why do you do this to me? why do you do this so easily" all the emo songs... singing all of them today ): sigh i realli REALLI pity my heart has to beat there giving me life and it the end whut does it get? pain sadness dao-ing ._. this is getting too much to take
11:35 PM
Monday, July 26, 2010
blehh retarded on msn todayyy neh felt so high for a long long time alr hahaha actually laughed at the convo :D all my frenzz soo funnyyyy :D stay kewl guys!! (:
hahaha aiyo dun nid my contribution just say can? after i soooo "enthu" then u just kick me aside seriously dun make me waste my effort next time dun ask me to do anything okie since nth i do is up to ur whut? expectations? just take from the others can alr i think without my SO CALLED help you guys can do fine coming to think of it since when was i NEEDED in anything? since when? never luhh seriously take me out i bet no one would realise yah i'm just this extra piece of guy here randoming extra-ing around just...just..wtv idk anymore haha maybe i should stop yes that's what i'll do i'll stop stop st- ... -.- poker face
11:10 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
rape of RI02 hahaha (rape of nanjing) burial pits everywhere in the field omg sec 1ssssssss hahaha backwoodsman faillllllllll be pro-er :D a few more years and u'll be blogging about ur sec 1s like me jyjyjy dun let urself get "raped" again HAHA
sigh this week has been depressing... sooo much stuff to emo about i wonder why ppl can change their attitude to me sooo much i dun even feel like i changed mine to them whyyyyy D; and change in not a good way too like become dao and shizzzz make me emo so much tsk am i realli becoming that boring? i cant help it kay... i'm not that kewl or am i becoming irritating? annoying? realli? am i? tell me why someone please i nid to know the truth to change myself please dun leave me as this annoying fukang that no one likes ... but no one likes fukang anw D:
10:33 PM
Monday, July 19, 2010
sigh... sigh... sigh... no i'm not having asthma... ): i'm having a heartbreak no known cure how? emo lor slash wrist lor wtv luhh like you care anw i'm not kewl enough for you i'm just this unimportant in ur life i'm just this uninteresting i'm just this boring i'm just this not funny i'm just this lame i'm just this ugly i'm just this piece of crap i'm just this piece of nth i'm just this nth i'm just this un-kewl i'm just this stupid i'm just this rubbish i'm just this fukang yes useless, fat, fukang UNKEWL FUKANG FUKANG PIECE OF SHIZ WHY ARE U SOOO DUMB FUKANG SUCH AN ASS U DUN CARE ANW WHY AM I SO EMO WOBUZHIDAO OKAY? THIS IS A BLOG RIGHT SIGHHHHHH DDDD: why cant i be kewl-er why must i be a freaking fukang shizzz... idk maybe i'm jealous of all ur kewlness and wtv but NO ONE CARES ANW go talk to ur kewl frens peeps leave me to rot in my own unkewlness okay? leave me here i'll do fine yea just fine no problem DDDDDDD:
11:11 PM
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cohort CIP was funn hahaha with lots and lots of paint XD but omg sooo saikang... logs comm 2 I/C... dom ah u die next time X) and woke up at 6am!!! T.T damn tired nao hehehe but yupp damn funn messed around with the walkie talkies too XD haha fun day :D
10:49 PM
Thursday, July 15, 2010
... ... ... damn i'm useless i'm a hopeless useless failure cant do anything right screws everything up... >( sigh why am i such a screwed up failure argh D< i'm damn fail omg its damn obvious kay like its just in my face it doesnt work now, when you say i'm not one the truth's staring me in the face you guys know it too i know it too i suck ttc mtm wtv ): ARGH I SUCK
P.S hope no one reads this ))):
9:32 PM
AWWWW... SOOO SWEEETT HAHA :D
6:24 PM
Monday, July 12, 2010
wheee sleepover at yongxin's house hahaha loads of fun with 2 random party-crashers and sec 4s :D hahaha got to find out how well SOME ppl sung XD (hint hint) ended up like crows squawking (: looks like i'm not the worst then YAY :D and then WORLD CUP FINALS 2010 Netherlands vs Spain Parrot vs (STUPID, NONSENSICAL, RANDOM) Paul the Octopus :D HAHAHA AND GUESS WHO WON? -drumroll- SP- i mean... spain yea spain won kay great back to life :D hahahaha then random TF2 lanning with sudeepz and kwang ik XD much fun fun much :D that's about it D: i think this is like the last break we're gonna have we're gonna get spammed with lots and projects alr DX nooooooooo kay luhh jiayou fuji :D
11:04 PM
Saturday, July 10, 2010
SOMEHOW... i always end up with sad quotes ): sigh...
"I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's too much. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years. But for now, just for now, it hurts."
funny how this thing describes how i feel SO accurately ): yes i'm not saying i have nothing i do have right!! and i'm not gone completely either i'm still here but yea... it freaking hurts... >_< whut have i done to deserve this hmm? there's this sour feeling in my heart and i dunno whut to do with it it just hurts (and its not heart attack)
"I don't deserve you...I never did"
yes... maybe i'm just foolish to even try why then do i try? why why why why why wozhuzhidao... woZHENDEbuzhidao... i'm just dumb, stupid, wishful thinking, deluded
"Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand"
:D did that seem happy to you? huh did it? well lemme tell you try looking beyond it deeper, deeper, deeper down see anything there? that empty pit where happiness used to fill? oh u dun know why it became empty do you? yahh, u'll never understand why would you understand? do you even know me? do you even TRY to know me? or did you just push me aside? like an irritation
"I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain"
self-confidence does make me feel better wait... is it? or am i just numbing myself? numbing myself to the sour feeling finding excuses for YOU to make it go away idk... i'm realli messed up
"Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile..."
absolutely nth no one to understand me no one to comfort me no one that knows just this ---> :D yahh a smiley on the comp and this --> D: in my heart no one around i'm alone in my own world my nonsensical world which no one knows...
D:
10:11 PM
Thursday, July 8, 2010
shit shit shit shit shit i feel damn dumb... idk why aso i just feel super dumb D< why am i doing this? i'm tooo committed... i'm trying too hard ahhhhhh... why dun u even try to return a tenth of the favour u make me feel damn dumb when i dun try that hard, i feel like "god, i'm not even trying" when i try, i feel like "WTSHIT AM I DOING" should i just forget it, like seriously... ): my self esteem is struggling to stay up there nao... >( AHHHH DAMN!! -deep breaths- pardon the "shit"s... i'm just messed up nao -deep breaths- jiayou fu kang :D you can do it!! be happy (:
9:55 PM
Monday, July 5, 2010
... okie i'm bored 3 day weekend thx to youth day hahaha din realli feel youthful tho X) just felt suuper tired at BCG presentation -yawn- on saturday Made In Candy rocks TTM :D and so did our team hahaha (Y) awesome ppt by kevin ong hmm sunday was spent at... whuts that place... ohoh causeway point!! at woodlands omg T.T soooo faaaarrrr awwaaayyyyy had to wake up at nine, and felt damn old HAHA walked around and trying to think ideas for our business... but no ideas eh D: we had all type of random ideas tho keydrive - thumbdrive and key together HAHA omg kevin ong : you lose it, you lose both ur files and your home HAHAHAHA (Y) and made in candy <3 saw a group selling it hahahaha and bought it duh :D sigh random weekend and nao i'm stoning...' so much for lanning huh 4A... X)
sigh... everyone's daoing me D: lets just hope its not my fault (: i'm not going to destroy myself again
9:38 AM
Welcome!
This is the place where you don't get golden opportunities, only silver chances.
You're not as well-off as the rest, you have to treasure your chances, this is the place to do so.
So start looking at your silver chances, and decide what to do with them (:
Story of my life :D
