Tuesday, September 28, 2010
yuck
i hate mugging
(fine no one actually likes mugging)
i just have to say it heh
its totally boring D:
and worrying when you dont understand some stuffies
i think i'm getting fat ):
havent exercised in like 2 days
(THATS A LOT)
i hate eoysssssssss
eoys suckkkkkkkkkkk D:
but after eoys it should be party time haha
argh i still have bcg and rs to prepare
uh oh
doesnt sound good
lets hope i'll be free-er haha :D
why am i worrying about after the eoys omg
eoys eoys eoys
hope i do well oh dear
really hope i do well
its my last year in RI
and the dominating JC awaits me next year sighies
hahaha life
that's life
10:53 PM
Monday, September 27, 2010
sorry peeps haha
i havent really been updating my blog regularly D:
all the time spent on mugging
either that
or i'm rushing off to catch cruel temptations :D
or i'm too lazy HAHA
sorrry D:
no one reads this much anw (:
sighhh
this sucksss
i shouldnt really let this affect my mugging
it shall not
actually it isnt really affecting my studies lah
i just spend a teeennyy weeennnyyy bit more time awake at bed
D:
from you're beautiful
( a song i can never sing its too freaking high XD )
"You're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
when she thought up that i could be with you
but its time to face the truth
i will never be with you"
Kinda expresses what i feel now O:
you're beautiful and i must have been blessed by an angel
to be lucky enough to meet you
and "COULD" be with you
but sighhs and sigghs its time to face the truth
the dreadful truth
i never was the one for you was i
why did you have to bring me up so quickly
and let me fall so abruptly
i... damn this
i dont know what to say
i'm just this bloody stubborn person
like one person
and it'll take me damn bloody long to let go
meanwhile
i'll just have to hurt more to see you happy i guess
sigh )):
10:53 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2010
i realised i'm actually quite a decent person
not that i'm being ego or anything
just that i just like stumbled upon it
like WOW
i actually have a high level of tolerance/patience...
i dont know why i realised this
just... yknow
i can actually tolerate what people do
what people say
what they think of me even
to a quite high extent
i dont know why haha i guess i'm just this peaceful person sigh
i just hold my feelings aside
and think of what's at stake
your friendship? or your dignityforthatmoment?
i guess i prioritise my relationships first... (:
but can that be a bad thing?
will i always lose out?
when people bully me, when i shut up? is that a bad thing?
when people make use of my tolerance
and make me lose out?
will it be a disadvantage then?
i can find beauty in everyone
maybe except myself
but yah pretty much everything
i have learnt to appreciate everything
about everyone,everything
i'm quite surprised at myself really
even finding things to like about someone when he/she is really like ARGH
that is good i suppose?
but i must really learn to appreciate myself more
and hope the people around me
dont learn to use this against me
sighhhh i guess its over then
i dont know
its actually quite hard to talk to you nowadays?
we're not even friends anymore
i'm singapore, you're america
we're just like drifting apart yknow
i dont know what to do really
):
why arent i so lucky?
when everyone's getting yknow attached
i'm the one alone
not like i'm in a RUSH or anything
but its really quite saddening when you're crushing sigh
when i see you get together
i fall apart
you cant appreciate me
and yet i see you in a different light
i should stop
its wrong
i cant keep up this pretense anymore
to all my dearest readers
just so you know
i'm putting up a happy front
doesnt mean i'm not crumbling inside
like now
BUT please i beg of you BEG
dont question me dont ask me anything
not that i dont appreciate that you care
it just feels like digging into that teary past
its not a good feeling
i rather i handle it alone
then to put the burden onto you guys as well
but if you really want to know what's going on
i cant stop you from knowing
but please ): ): please
i guess... i'm not the one for you after all
it might take some time
like really some time
i'm not the type to like someone and dump her the next day
to let go of you i guess
you might not believe what i say
but i can tell you
that i'm really lost right now
in pain too
maybe none of you cant understand me right now
but just give me the time alright
why is this happening to me
aren't i supposed to be perfect?
isn't it time to be perfect?
10:56 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
O:
omg taeyang's damn good at dancing XD
i feel like learning wedding dress after eoys
ANYONE WANT TO JOIN HAHA :D
it'll be fun and retarded haha
blehh dancing's so damn fun (:
sighh eoys are coming closer and closer oh dear
not good
i think i'm still damn slack
need to pick up on the mugging fever
):
that's not very nice to hear either X)
but i still have TENNIS :D
tennis is damn fun :D
do miracles happen
like really really?
hmph
lets not wait for miracles anymore alright
i shall start MAKING my own
creating my own
perfect miracles
its time to be perfect
for you
11:00 PM
Monday, September 20, 2010
DMP's damn slack hahaha omg
all the free periods in all the right places
oh yeah its tennis time
HAHA WTH sorry bout that
just being retarded and high-ish
just feeling like that these few days
but eoys are coming holy fukang
not good not good
actually i can be happy when i mug right
:D oh well i think i'm slacking too much though ):
sighsighsigh
i'm starting to think of you
less and less
you're just fading away
"You used to shine so bright
but i watched all of it fade"
its a numbing feeling surprisingly
but i dont know
i'm kinda lost now haha
i actually miss the times where we used to talk
i miss the times where i would sit and smile and think of you
these are no more
):
10:45 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
sigh
i'm not the one after all
maybe i was never the one to begin with
only me and my wishful thinking
(hahaha wishful, 11:11, geddit? :D argh forget it i'm not even going to try)
i'm being too selfish
i'm holding on too tightly
its time to let go i think
you don't even have me in your eyes (less say your heart)
when you're the only one in mine
its totally... off-balanced
):
i'll just give up silently
i dont think you will know or care anyway
i'm just not the one for you alright
why am i spouting so much rubbish damn
you wont know its you
cos you dont even know i like you
after the subtle hints
sigh
alright i'm going to shut up now
you all want me to anyway
i'm too noisy
right
nothing i say ever matters
P.S THANKS for your words btw, you know who you are (:, really grateful for coming to me when no one else did, it means a lot thanks :'D
11:12 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
WISH WISH WISH
ITS 11:11
ahhh whatever haha
it doesnt work
we all know it doesnt
sigh when do miracles actually take place?
):
do they at all?
i'm not going to say i'm hopeless anymore
nahh i'm so much better than the old fukang i used to be
but its still not working isnt it
i know you dont really care about me
you just ignore me
i know you do, really
awww... the heartbreaks
(that i've already went through, my heart's numb ._.)
i dont know anymore
i'm a lost kid
lost in my own thoughts
and feelings
sometimes i really hope wishes work
and you will look my way
for once
just once
give me that silver chance
to be the perfect one
11:11 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
yay english paper 1 over today hahaha
that's a load off my mind for the eoys i guess
only left comprehension
which is well unmuggable
(unless you want to memorise the whole damn dictionary go ahead stupid muggertoads XD)
but i went in without a good luck wish from you
i might fail this paper -damn- HAHA
aiyoooo one "good luck yo!! :D" also cannot ):
do i really mean that little to you?
fine maybe i do
but do i mean THAT THAT THAT little to you? :O -disbelief-
oh well lets start wishing alright
at 11:11, 1:11, 11:11, 1:11
hehe eh actually its quite possible eh
maybe i should try that
:D
must be perfecccttt timing
or not later "bu ling" :P
i'm back to dancing hahaha
still trying to impress you i guess
but i feel great dancing :D
its quite fun actually when you try to invent new choreographies
sure you fall and get bruises on your shoulders, hips
and twist a few ankles,wrists
knock your head once or twice
HAHAHA WTH NO LAHH
i'm not that blur/clumsy
but its really damn fun :D
i cant stop dancing i just realised
i'm like bobbing my head left and right, up down (head isolation cool stuff :D)
when i'm listening to random music
and doing robot HAHA
oh well... i just cant stop
its time to be perfect :D
(its funny how i strive for perfection isnt it :D)
5:54 PM
Sunday, September 12, 2010
hahaha oh dear
do i seem/sound happy to you?
hehe
hahaha
(:
:DDD
well i'm not
i'm not exactly getting torn apart lah
but i'm still sad and emo-ish
i thought we were getting closer
probably not
i dont know whether you're reading this
but i really do love you
and i know you dont (i'm not sure HAHAHA)
should i wait for you?
i'm not exactly the type to love and let go easily if you know what i mean
awhile more then
awhile :D hehe
to see what's inside me that's worth liking
kinda just came up with something again :O
"Don't complain about her not seeing anything in you, do you have anything worth seeing in the first place?"
yah exactly that
do i have anything worth seeing or worth liking
i dont know
i cant know
i'm not you haha
only you guys can tell me
and can i trust you guys?
well i guess i'll have to work harder then
try to give you something to see
its time to be perfect (:
oolala i'm loving this new me
cos its purely me this time
perfectly purely me ;D and i'm loving it
6:54 PM
Friday, September 10, 2010
damnnnnnnn
i'm going crazy thinking about you i swear hahaha
i wake up at 3am...
and think about you
when i REALLY wake up (at 11-12)
i stare out the window and think about you
why am i doing this haha holy fukang
i have no idea really
i just do
sighhhh oh well
not like you'd do the same for me
i should really wishing for a miracle
they do happen... right?
:D
miracles happen
just hopes that one happens to me ):
12:23 PM
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
SIGHSIGHSIGH
you really showed me who's boss today hahaha
i really cant win you luhh omg
you're too good
alright
i'm never going to be the funny person that you are
i'm never going to be the charismatic flirt that you are
i should stop being you
its really hard haha
we all have our differences
and i dont really seem to share much similarities with you
and i really REALLY should stop trying to
patch up those differences
and make them similarities
or even try to overtake
i'm just going to be me
just me
who i am
dance in my own style
talk in my own style
do everything in my own style
beat that
i
am
just going to be the perfect me
:D
time for my tagline WHEEEEE
its time to be perfect ;D
hehehe i feel so cool :D
11:43 PM
Monday, September 6, 2010
"I'm never the one to make you laugh, but I'm also the one the never lets you cry, alone"
but you can never see that can you!! ):
you cry over them over and over again
but fail to see who's really caring for you
oh well... ): i guess i just gotta wait
wait and wait patiently i suppose
until you can FINALLY see who i am
what i can do for you
what i will do for you
why i'm doing them for you
its heartbreaking seriously
but i'm just mending my heart over and over again
for you
its time to be perfect (:
3:31 PM
sigh... cant stop rewatching our dance vid haha
sooo awesome :D
actually i was kinda just watching myself
oh well... i was totally offsync D:
and i need to be looser and stuff :\
hahaha the next dance then
i'll be better (:
time to practise i guess
i realised i was kinda better with red pill cos i just yknow
randomly danced redpill's moves out
hmm... says something doesnt it :)
okie practise makes perfect
time to practise, to be the perfect that i wanna be
but can i realli be perfect?
can we all realli be the perfect we wanna be?
oh well... we'll never know do we?
time for me to find out
lets perfect this dance
its time to be perfect
(that is sooo gonna be my tagline :D)
ARGH one whole SUNDAY at home
this is boring shit
dayumn D:
12:00 AM
Saturday, September 4, 2010
back to my boring old average life again
2 days of dancing felt good
surprisingly
but so many mistakes
i'm just not that perfect
for a period of time today
i just felt like a backup
but oh well
"Dancers are everything under their own spotlight"
i guess i shouldnt be jealous or whatever haha
but abit what luhh i felt
its just this sense of emptiness on stage
not much nervousness or anything
i'm just backup and stuff
no one's watching me anw haha
its just on the center dancer realli
didnt had to worry so much
oh well... i'm not as good
so every performance is just a self-improvement for myself
i'll just improve and improve i guess
awesome concert tho :DD
met many ppl under my cool golden mask :D haha
so that no one would see my ugly face X)
sigh
tiring days
i'm
just
going
to
crash
in my own fatigue and emptiness
12:15 AM
