Thursday, September 23, 2010
i realised i'm actually quite a decent person
not that i'm being ego or anything
just that i just like stumbled upon it
like WOW
i actually have a high level of tolerance/patience...
i dont know why i realised this
just... yknow
i can actually tolerate what people do
what people say
what they think of me even
to a quite high extent
i dont know why haha i guess i'm just this peaceful person sigh
i just hold my feelings aside
and think of what's at stake
your friendship? or your dignityforthatmoment?
i guess i prioritise my relationships first... (:
but can that be a bad thing?
will i always lose out?
when people bully me, when i shut up? is that a bad thing?
when people make use of my tolerance
and make me lose out?
will it be a disadvantage then?
i can find beauty in everyone
maybe except myself
but yah pretty much everything
i have learnt to appreciate everything
about everyone,everything
i'm quite surprised at myself really
even finding things to like about someone when he/she is really like ARGH
that is good i suppose?
but i must really learn to appreciate myself more
and hope the people around me
dont learn to use this against me
sighhhh i guess its over then
i dont know
its actually quite hard to talk to you nowadays?
we're not even friends anymore
i'm singapore, you're america
we're just like drifting apart yknow
i dont know what to do really
):
why arent i so lucky?
when everyone's getting yknow attached
i'm the one alone
not like i'm in a RUSH or anything
but its really quite saddening when you're crushing sigh
when i see you get together
i fall apart
you cant appreciate me
and yet i see you in a different light
i should stop
its wrong
i cant keep up this pretense anymore
to all my dearest readers
just so you know
i'm putting up a happy front
doesnt mean i'm not crumbling inside
like now
BUT please i beg of you BEG
dont question me dont ask me anything
not that i dont appreciate that you care
it just feels like digging into that teary past
its not a good feeling
i rather i handle it alone
then to put the burden onto you guys as well
but if you really want to know what's going on
i cant stop you from knowing
but please ): ): please
i guess... i'm not the one for you after all
it might take some time
like really some time
i'm not the type to like someone and dump her the next day
to let go of you i guess
you might not believe what i say
but i can tell you
that i'm really lost right now
in pain too
maybe none of you cant understand me right now
but just give me the time alright
why is this happening to me
aren't i supposed to be perfect?
isn't it time to be perfect?
10:56 PM
