Saturday, December 25, 2010
spending christmas stuck at home
with lots of shit to think about
hahaha pretty much all alone
no one cares lah
wishing everyone merry christmas at 12 am
thats about the most i did
in order not to be forgotten
coming to think of it
i'm always forgotten
say i'm unmemorable think i'm lame
feel i'm normal
yes i get it
i'm freaking boring okay
no one actually remembers me when they do everything
even my parents
forgot my birthday this year
why?
why am i such a loser?
seriously i try
i really try my best
hanging around, msn convos, smses
i still...
i'm still left out
don't say i'm complaining
because seriously, you dont know how it feels
YOU ALL dont know how it feels to be ignored
because you're all so cool and shit
have all your besties around you
you never get ignored
i, on the other hand, am easily forgotten
ignored, dao-ed, whatever
rarely invited for shit
unless i shamelessly go and ask
like lets say your friends
supposedly the ones that you're closer to
invites 'everyone' to go for like, a basketball day out
or some outing lah
and you just HAPPEN to get not invited
i mean like
these are the guys you hang out with
or in my case
TRY to hang out with
and they dont even bother to want you along
am i trying too fucking hard or what?
i just dont know
i dont understand
everytime i feel like i'm settling in and all
i just get pushed aside
i'm freaking lost
who do i think i am anyway?
not everyone has to invite me right?
maybe i'm just too into myself
i'm just thinking too highly about myself
maybe i was never any of your friends to begin with
i was just deluded
i was just the tag-along-guy
i was just the screw up
maybe i should just stop trying altogether
and stop trying so hard for that little bit of acceptance
yea go on ignoring me
go on daoing me
i'm fine with it
just... fine
i'm not anyone anyway
:(
8:54 PM
