Sunday, June 5, 2011
i'm just feeling so damn lonely
these 4 days i've just been feeling so lonely
mugging everyday in school all by myself
seriously it gets so boring and alone i can cry
i feel so bloody restless all the time
i want to talk to people
but no i've only got myself and my homework
in a way, it does force me to do my work
and yes i have done my work, studied hard and productively
but in the end i'm still a piece of lonely shit
i still appreciate that little distraction once in awhile
i guess i just really want people around me
and i expect them to be
maybe that's the problem
i keep expecting my friends to be there for me when i need them
and then i end up asking and waiting for them to join me
but in the end i just face rejection and solitude
it makes everything much worse
i really can't handle it
on a saturday, of JUNE HOLIDAYS
i'm stuck in school studying alone
how sad is that really
my mood's just being dying today
keep thinking about everything solitude makes you think about
while everyone else's having fun
you're just staring at your chem notes
and wondering why you're sitting there alone by yourself
the worst part is
will this all pay off?
will i actually score well for my CTs
better than my friends because i'm putting so much effort
i really don't think so
i'm just studying to get this sense of security for my results
but its just not coming yet
and i'm getting another sense of insecurity
when my friends aren't around me
i really feel like i'm wasting my holidays away
at first i thought studying's a good way to use the holidays
but when i had that idea in mind
i was imagining studying in groups, studying with people
right now
it's just me
and my shadow for company
forever alone
12:47 AM
