Thursday, April 7, 2011
sometimes i just feel as if
no one cares about me at all
):
no one just notices what i try to do
they don't ask me whether i'm okay
they just don't notice me
i still remember one dinner 1/2 weeks back?
i went away to change into uniform
like out of my sweaty clothes
came back
i could literally see all the shocked faces
and one person actually said "shit, forgot about you"
it just feels damn shitty
and problem is
i don't even know what to do myself
call me attention-seeking
call me whatever you want
everyone needs attention and care every now and then
just that i get less of it
i try to care for everyone around me
i ask whether you're okay, you're alright
and i don't know whether you all appreciate it
but if you don't then just forget it
i don't even feel like wasting my effort
-.-/one word replies/lol/whatever/fine pisses me off big time
just saying
perhaps my expectations of you guys are too high
maybe i'm trying too hard to be nice
i really dont know
i just dont want to get ignored
i really try so hard to impress
i try to be funny
i learn how to do shit
i'm as nice as possible, self sacrificial
but maybe no one cares at all
i'm just fooling myself
and i'm done being jealous
or at least i want to be done with it
everyone's too much better at everything
i can't beat everyone
i can improve
but maybe not to the extent that i win people
but perhaps to the extent that people actually see i'm better
i'm really trying my best at everything
if i'm learning too slow
if i cannot catch up
i just can't, at the moment, i need some time
i'm not some genius like some of you
i really need time and effort
singing, dancing, BREAKdancing, humor
there's so much i want to work on
D:
i just really want to be the best ):
why?
i just want people to like me
to like being around me
to be impressed at what i do
):
perhaps right now it just isnt the case
i dont see the point in being jealous of other people
but you can't help it
its just like you want to be where they are now
getting so much of what you want
but you know you aren't there
yet
yet.
watch me.
11:06 PM
