Saturday, August 13, 2011
Why do i do everything wrong? No one feels good around me, no one has fun around me, no one enjoys being around me, no one wants to be around me.
Is it because i'm too transparent? My feelings show too easily, is that why? When i'm angry, you guys see it. When i'm annoyed, you all see it. When i'm sad, you guys see it. When i'm quiet, you know why i'm quiet. When i'm left out, you guys know it too. Is that why? You guys can't handle my mood changes, you all don't understand why i have to feel certain ways is that it? I'm just the same as all of you. I just show my feelings more easily, that doesn't mean that i'm more annoyed or more sad. I thought people used to appreciate naivety, appreciate my transparency with my feelings. You live in a world of lies now, people don't like to see how you feel. Keep them to yourself, you fool. Show them the smile and walk away like nothing happened. No one needs to know how you freaking feel.
Is it because i'm too bad at my expression? I say things that sound like what things i never ever will intend to say. I tell people things without thinking about what happens next. I hurt people without knowing i did. My feelings get so mixed up, that what i say come out wrong. Is that what I do? I thought people knew me. I mean the nicest things when i say them. I never ever intend to diss or slam people when i say things but i guess things just come out wrong. I thought i was sensitive enough, maybe overly sensitive or maybe not at all. Just shut up, no one needs to know what you're talking about, no one needs to know what you're thinking. Keep all the shit you have to yourself, seriously.
Is it because i'm too retarded and spontaneous? I like to be around people so much, y'all start feeling that i'm unnecessary? You all start thinking that i don't have other friends? I really just like to be around people, i thought people would like me around too. Apparently not. No one has fun around you, you're just another waste of space. Just run off home and study.
I do everything wrong. All i do is make mistakes over and over again. People have to worry about what happens to me and can't have fun. Just go hide in a hole. No one needs to see your ugly face. Or to hear what shit you've to say. Just shut up, no one's going to care. So stop dragging the world down with you. You die, you die alone.
9:25 PM
